apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

(Source: secretsbest)

wait-whaaat:

uniquelyreflectinghisglory:

cali-fornia-herewecome:

rahmagical:

cultono:

likeadisneyprincess:

dallyxxwasxxgallant:

believe-in-laughter:

books-on-tables:

what the fuck

What in the actual fuck?

*slow clap*

My brain just ran out the door… oh shit…

serious mind fuck

Gets me every time

This is genius.

every single person in the world has to see this

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union